Cards against the Society

Braving inclement weather and strong wind, the Society gathered once again in the dignified Philodemic Room – for a game of Cards against Humanity. But rest assured that the sacred space had not been tainted by some party game full of expletives (my apologies to those “horrible people”) – because the Society was playing a special set of Philodemic Cards to relive past debates on this year’s Historical Day.

The rules were perhaps the only element unchanged in the game as members outwitted each other rephrasing old resolutions with Society jargons and memorable quotes on the floor. According to the librarian Mr. Wang who designed the game, members could see the Society’s values reflected in these resolutions from our founding time or from within the past decade. He wrote, “You can see that our Society is not afraid to tackle challenging issues of our time, but also willing to juxtapose pop culture references and historical values to bring about the most enjoyable and thought-provoking discussions to the forefront of the Georgetown University Hilltop.”

But let us keep the preface short and dive into some thought-provoking resolutions and new traditions (along with their original wording):

  1. Resolved: The U.S. should end its prison of reason

Resolved: The United States should end its space program. (2/25/2010)

2. Resolved: All states should dismantle their America.

Resolved: All states should dismantle their nuclear arsenals. (3/4/2010)

3. Resolved: The foreign policy of ISIS just isn’t as sexy did more harm than good.

Resolved: The foreign policy of Woodrow Wilson did more harm than good (3/25/2010)

4. Resolved: Jamestown, not rich white men is the seed of American culture.

Resolved: Jamestown, not Plymouth, is the seed of American culture. (10/22/2009)

5. Resolved: The global war on all world issues has been a failure.

Resolved: The global war on terror has been a failure. (11/12/2009)

6. Resolved: The war on Christmas has been a 3-million-dollar pit of sin.

Resolved: The war on Christmas has been a failure. (12/09/2009)

  1. Resolved: President Obama deserves the women with shaved legs, cheese-wrapped bacon and hookers on speed dial.

Resolved: President Obama deserved the Nobel Peace Prize. (10/29/2009)

8. Resolved: The state should legalize Philodemincest.

Resolved: The state should legalize same-sex marriage. (11/19/2009)

  1. Resolved: The AK47 has had a greater impact upon GUSA doorknockers.

Resolved: The AK-47 has had a greater impact upon history than the Atomic Bomb. (3/26/2009)

  1. Resolved: The watching pornography penalty should be abolished.

Resolved: The death penalty should be abolished. (11/05/2009)

  1. Resolved: Hamlet was leaning on the dais.

Resolved: Hamlet was mad. (12/04/2009)

  1. Resolved: It is better to blow down your house of liberalism than to receive.

Resolved: It is better to give than to receive. (Proposed resolution)

  1. Resolved: Community is prior to rugged individualism.

Resolved: The Community is prior to the Individual (Proposed Merrick resolution)

  1. The President position is the Nietzsche Master-Slave mentality of the Society.

15. What’s there a ton of in the Philodemic? Wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?

  1. Where is the Chancellor? Chil fil A.
  1. The Amanuensis position is the Miley Cyrus of the Society.
  1. I think that opening keynote is confused.
  1. Absolutely don’t forget that Syria.
  1. Have you signed the membership federalist papers?

Have you signed the membership book? (Common request)

  1. Kant said that you must adhere to your sense of doing more harm than good.
  1. What’s the framing again? Sticking to the framing.
  1. Five Merrick points awarded to Martin’s.
  1. Who will be the next Philodemic president? Lady Macbeth

While we were having fun bashing against ’Murica, GUSA and Shakespeare, a group of NAIMUN participants broke into the Philodemic Room for photo-taking. President Whelan thus took the chance to introduce some basic traditions of the Society. After the game concluded, he also encouraged the young members to approach the President’s chair and examine a few relics hidden in the dais – a constitution, an outdated seniority list, scratch paper for calculating past Merrick points and a twisted coat rack with mysterious purpose.

Looking back on the Sunday afternoon, Ms. Ludtke praised the ingenuity of the game and suggested more explanation of the historical references. “I thought it was really fun,” she wrote, “It might have been nice to see more seniors there, given that they know the majority of the references made in the game, but it was also cool as a freshman to learn more about famous Philodemic happenings.” Meanwhile, Mr. Wang stressed the significance of history in shaping the Society’s future. “What the Society always needs to remember is that we must always continue to learn and to view new ideals both with welcoming minds and critical eyes,” he wrote.


Xinlan Hu

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