And on the 11th Day of Christmas, DRINKS ARE ON CHRIS! But seriously, how could I do 12 Days of Philodemic Memories without including the person who has been in nearly all of mine? Mr. Christopher DiMisa was our wonderful President for the last year, and is now Chancellor. Although at first I thought he exclusively lived and breathed Philodemic, I realized just this month that he also does take classes – he’s a Sociology major! – and is actually in process of writing a thesis. Chancellor DiMisa hails from good ole Maryland and did debate in high school (no wonder he’s always ready to rebut the previous speaker), but fell in love with the Philodemic upon arriving to Georgetown. He can more often than not be found at The Castle playing video games or hustling innocent girls like me in Fantasy Football (Mr. Schafer was right – don’t trust his trades!). When it comes down to it, he’s done it all in Philodemic, so he had a memory with a moral at the end of it for all keynoters:
My Induction, or, the Importance of a Pre-Debate Bathroom Trip
“A long time ago, outside a room we know very well, there paced a freshman named Chris. This young lad was reading and re-reading his speech. ‘Twas the night of March 1st, 2012, and he was getting inducted into the Society. He was practicing and timing over and over to make sure his speech was right at seven minutes. He brought four pens, one each of four colors, two notebooks, three copies of his speech, all of his sources, and two water bottles. His mentor, Josh Donovan, gave him a talk which quieted some of the nerves, he drank one of the bottles, and he was ready to go.
He gave the first speech on the affirmation for Resolved: Obama’s Contraceptive Plan Violates Religious Freedom, and he performed adequately, especially considering his nerves. He sat down and had half of his other bottle and then realized the most terrifying truth: he needed to go to the bathroom. He resolved to wait; yet his willpower lasted maybe twenty minutes, so he spoke to his co-keynoter, Colleen Wood. He asked if it was possible to leave and use the restroom. She looked him dead in the eyes and told him that he would sit the entire debate and wait.
After suffering for almost two hours, it was time for his keynote. It was maybe four minutes. As soon as the debate was over, he fought his way through the crowd and ran to the restroom. So to all who wish to join the Society, please know this: never forget to use the restroom before the debate.”
There you have it. Pearls of wisdom. And you can bet Chris has never brought water bottles with him to debates since then.