In what is now Philodemic tradition number two hundred and two,
It’s that time of year for me to write a senior ode to bid you adieu.
A new delightful task—I have a one Ms. Daniels to thank for this—
The Amanuensis Emerita, whom we will all dearly miss.
I warn you now: poetry isn’t really my forte,
English major and note taker? Yes. But poet? No way!
Western business attire? Not necessary for me;
So stay in your pajamas and get excited to see.
Chancellor Iacono, we’ll all miss you out on the floor,
Although to be honest, there’s one of us that might miss you more…
But enough about that, it’s time to talk about an Alex Henderson speech,
With that intense, quiet whisper that to the farthest back corner did still reach.
And oh Ms. Emma Green, we never meant to be “rude,”
Which was always your response when our comments were crude,
Now the names Tocqueville and Kirkegaard are a bit hard to rhyme,
But need to be included since for them you always made time.
Now Mr. Manchester, we hope you don’t sink to bowling alone,
In response to your proposal, maybe Ms. Green will change her tone.
But otherwise I’m sure Mr. Biesiada would say yes,
Though to be fair, he might be clad in colonial dress.
Now Mr. Medina, our philosopher friend,
Ne’er found a problem some Marxism couldn’t mend.
He could wax poetic about even the biggest mess,
No one would guess: he’s actually in the SFS!
Then Mr. Rinaldi and Ms. Pesant debated hipster or bro,
Wearing pinnies and glasses, it was guaranteed to be a good show.
Ms. Revier was the only one to really know at the Valentine’s Day Debate,
But at the marijuana debate, it seemed to be Mr. Soper who could relate.
As for Mr. Topf and Ms. Fritz—who you are, I haven’t a clue,
But since you’re on our list, I’m sure at some point you were this cool too.
As I come to the end of commemorating the seniors we’ll miss,
The only poor loser is the next kid who has to try to top this.
But now wait just a minute, my present to you isn’t quite done;
There’s always the website comments for you to continue your fun.
So after you graduate,
And your floor speeches abate,
But when you still desperately want to have a debate,
Just comment on the summaries—I promise you, they’re great!
So now as you enter the real world and begin your new lives in turn,
Remember the dear Philodemic to which you can always return.
For the last time, ELD and much love,
Emily R. Coccia